so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
