I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
