Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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