That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
