A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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