Say something about gay babies.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
