"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
