dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
only you would photoshop your dick
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
