Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
