Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
