No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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