Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i barfeds in our rink
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
