He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
