google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize