She said her name was "party"
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The struggles of a small town man whore
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
