Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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