My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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