what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
