I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
