But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
