But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She bit a glass in half.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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