We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
