I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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