I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
