You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
