just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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