Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize