at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i will never coherently bang her
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
