my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
