Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
