Ambien. No doubt about it.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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