dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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