ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You're my little dorito
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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