It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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