3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
why do cheetos always look like penises
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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