All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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