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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  what does that even mean?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Jesus...So southern.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.

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• (714): View more from California

  Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.

  (512): View more from Texas

  did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?

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