we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize