Screwed.edu
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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