Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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