3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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