heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
