so explain again why im purple
no
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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