piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
