It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Farmville is her only friend.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
