Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize