I wannas sexs uuuuu
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
