i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
