i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
