Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
