Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
