Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
