Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
