nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize
