i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
