READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
