I puked a lego.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
