The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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