It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
