Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
