We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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