we're blogging at a bar
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Every concussion has its silver lining
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
